We had waited for a week but still no news yet...
Darling went for an interview on last Friday in Singapore. He went down and came back by bus within a day. I knew that he was exhausted and tired. I was happy that he had made up his mind to come down to Singapore and I saw his effort. I knew the day is coming nearer. (Applying my law of attraction now :p)
We had went through a lot..UPS and DOWNS. This is life, it's normal. However, our relationship is always abnormal in some way. Why do I say so?
When we first started, we were having underground relationship. He is my senior and always bring me out to meet customer. Few months later, our colleagues discovered it and both of us left the company.
You will think that then it will be better, can announce our relationship openly; instead of being a "secret lover". But, god is trying to challenge us. Darling was offered by his uncle to run the kopitiam business. Our time is UP SIDE DOWN. I wake up in the morning to go to work; but he is sleeping soundly beside me. When he is back from work, I had already slept tightly with my pillow in my arm. (I always have this bad habit, have to carry something in my arm. Darling said I am lack of security. ) We can only look forward for his off day.
After that, it came to the decision to leave him and pursue my dream job - Air Hostess. It was really tough initially as I thought we'll give up in this relationship since we are really apart from each other. However, CUPID fires his arrow on us again and makes us realize that we are the perfect couple that should live happily together. We are just perfect for each other because our shortcomings are always the strengths of the other. We are just the compliment of each other.
Janelle said:"Pei, you are really ready and prepared to marry him. What you are thinking now is all about him. Unlike last time, your priority is your family."
It's true; I am old enough now and my market value drops as days go. (but not very true as there are guys try on me also :P)
I just ♥ you in a way of who you are
I just ♥ you to tease me
I just ♥ you to make my mood swings up and down
I just ♥ you to protect me when I'd been bullied
I just ♥ you to sing for me (recorded David Tao's song 爱很简单 for our anniversary pressie)
I just ♥ you to hold my hand and treat me as a kid
I just ♥ you to kiss my forehead and cheek when you feel like to
I just ♥ you to bring me out for good food and enjoying eating with me (It may not be as nice as with other girls because I don't have big appetite)
I just ♥ you to allow me to sip your coffee
I just ♥ you to console me when I am down
I just ♥ you to be my chauffeur though you do not know the way where are we heading to
I just ♥ you to give me surprises
I just ♥ you everytime you tell me "Lu Chai, just remember that I'll be the one that loves you and sayang you the most"
I prayed to the god and I knew he heard my blessing and wishes.. He will help me and give both of us a chance to get back what we has lost for the past few years. I am really sick of living alone and envy others with their boyfriend always by their side. Things will get better and we should appreciate what we have now and future.
Friday, April 30, 2010
I Won the WAR!!!
In my previous post, I was telling you all that how sad I was? How bad the feeling is?
I told some of my close friends on this, all of them also felt weird that why I can't paint my room in pink? Some of them asked me to voice out, but I just simply feel tired and no energy to argue anymore...
However, there is not the ending yet. On Thursday, I called my brother to get the latest news of the house. I told him to inform my parents that PAINT MY ROOM WITH WHITE instead of making own decision with other colors that they think I'll like.
I was so surprised that my father bought the pearl pink color paint for my room. He went back to the shop and asked for the color that closer to the one that I like. I just have to say that my father really pamper in certain way where he understands that I was not happy initially. My mum even told me that wall paper is allowed now. HAHA...
My friend, Soe Cheng said:" Amelie, actually you'd started a silent war without you knowing it. You just simply ignore or do not give any comment which makes your parents worry and surrender."
No matter what. I have my pink room now; the next step is looking for wall paper or mosaic that is suitable for my room. I am having my PRINCESS room soon.
* p/s: Darling called my mum and chatted with her; mummy told him that she had put a lot of effort in but all of us not appreciate. She understands that all of us are working, thus she took up all the responsibilities, eg: looking for contractor, liase with supplier, main of contact for all other issues... But, all of us know how to lose temper without trying to talk to her nicely. She was so upset and stressed up. However, on the other hand she should always let the younger generation (me and my brother) to have their freedom instead of controlling every single thing. Darling advised her on this...
Yohooo, I WON THE WAR!!!
I told some of my close friends on this, all of them also felt weird that why I can't paint my room in pink? Some of them asked me to voice out, but I just simply feel tired and no energy to argue anymore...
However, there is not the ending yet. On Thursday, I called my brother to get the latest news of the house. I told him to inform my parents that PAINT MY ROOM WITH WHITE instead of making own decision with other colors that they think I'll like.
I was so surprised that my father bought the pearl pink color paint for my room. He went back to the shop and asked for the color that closer to the one that I like. I just have to say that my father really pamper in certain way where he understands that I was not happy initially. My mum even told me that wall paper is allowed now. HAHA...
My friend, Soe Cheng said:" Amelie, actually you'd started a silent war without you knowing it. You just simply ignore or do not give any comment which makes your parents worry and surrender."
No matter what. I have my pink room now; the next step is looking for wall paper or mosaic that is suitable for my room. I am having my PRINCESS room soon.
* p/s: Darling called my mum and chatted with her; mummy told him that she had put a lot of effort in but all of us not appreciate. She understands that all of us are working, thus she took up all the responsibilities, eg: looking for contractor, liase with supplier, main of contact for all other issues... But, all of us know how to lose temper without trying to talk to her nicely. She was so upset and stressed up. However, on the other hand she should always let the younger generation (me and my brother) to have their freedom instead of controlling every single thing. Darling advised her on this...
Yohooo, I WON THE WAR!!!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
LOST
It has been few days that I felt I am alone (mentally)...
Normally after the flight, I'll feel excited as I am going back to my parents' place and it's time to feel "home sweet home". However, recently this feeling is no longer exist...
First of all, maybe I always comply my parents' instructions and seldom disobey. When it comes to the time that I struggle to gain back my rights, then tears will come and play a part.
It is just a small issue but my mum just wanna make it a serious one. sigh...
It's all related to my new house, to be clear is MY NEW ROOM.
I saw a Europe Style make up table in SSF Furniture and I liked it so much. I'd decided to buy it for my own "little princess" room and ever thought of how to make it in a MOST COMFORTABLE way. However, when my mum went shopping and saw a set of white bedroom set in furniture fair, she asked my brother's girlfriend to send me the pictures and convinced me to buy that instead. (In fact, the bedroom set is cheaper)
In order to save more for budget, I agreed and she placed the order. I don't really like it but darling kept telling me that it will only be a temporarily place for us to stay.
Next, it comes to wall paper. I wanted my main wall to put on the wall paper in order to make it slightly "complicated". However, my brother in law said it's not realistic because it won't last long. Then I got rejection again.
Third, I admit that I like girly things; like ribbons, dots, small flowers, and etc. I requested to paint my room in pink, which is my favourite color. I got rejection again due to the comment from my sister that "pink is too striking".
I kept telling myself to cool down. However, the last one will be the one that is unbearable.. When we went shopping for our rooms' lights, there is no wall lights that I like. However, I saw 1 ceiling hanging light which is acceptable and nice. I told my mum that I decided to take it and not having any hanging fan in my room. In case I wanna take nap in the evening, then I can always go to my brother's room. Initially she was okay with the idea. Just within few seconds. she regretted and told me this:" If any guests come to our house, without the fan, they'll switch on the aircond and it'll be very costly." WTH???? The best part is later of the day, my father told me that it's regards to FENG SHUI. THAT"S DAMN FUNNY, RITE?This is my room and can you please respect what I want instead?
As my best friend said: If my room is not designed/ decorated in the way I like, I won't feel "belonging" to this house. I totally agreed on this. Thus, I will be staying (or tumpang) in the guest room instead.
FYI, my SLK (small little kenari) had been sold. If I am going back JB, I have nothing left except my clothes...I don't like the feeling though I am always away from house, doesn't mean that I wanna lost the feeling of "belonging".
My darling is not with me at this point of time. I am lack of love and touch from him; and now I lost the family care and understanding. What should I do then?
I'll just ignore this and don't feel like argue with them anymore. I just hope that they are happy when they move in. As for myself, I just hope that darling will come to Singapore soon and I can gain back the feeling of "belonging"; at least belonging to his arms...:)
Normally after the flight, I'll feel excited as I am going back to my parents' place and it's time to feel "home sweet home". However, recently this feeling is no longer exist...
First of all, maybe I always comply my parents' instructions and seldom disobey. When it comes to the time that I struggle to gain back my rights, then tears will come and play a part.
It is just a small issue but my mum just wanna make it a serious one. sigh...
It's all related to my new house, to be clear is MY NEW ROOM.
I saw a Europe Style make up table in SSF Furniture and I liked it so much. I'd decided to buy it for my own "little princess" room and ever thought of how to make it in a MOST COMFORTABLE way. However, when my mum went shopping and saw a set of white bedroom set in furniture fair, she asked my brother's girlfriend to send me the pictures and convinced me to buy that instead. (In fact, the bedroom set is cheaper)
In order to save more for budget, I agreed and she placed the order. I don't really like it but darling kept telling me that it will only be a temporarily place for us to stay.
Next, it comes to wall paper. I wanted my main wall to put on the wall paper in order to make it slightly "complicated". However, my brother in law said it's not realistic because it won't last long. Then I got rejection again.
Third, I admit that I like girly things; like ribbons, dots, small flowers, and etc. I requested to paint my room in pink, which is my favourite color. I got rejection again due to the comment from my sister that "pink is too striking".
I kept telling myself to cool down. However, the last one will be the one that is unbearable.. When we went shopping for our rooms' lights, there is no wall lights that I like. However, I saw 1 ceiling hanging light which is acceptable and nice. I told my mum that I decided to take it and not having any hanging fan in my room. In case I wanna take nap in the evening, then I can always go to my brother's room. Initially she was okay with the idea. Just within few seconds. she regretted and told me this:" If any guests come to our house, without the fan, they'll switch on the aircond and it'll be very costly." WTH???? The best part is later of the day, my father told me that it's regards to FENG SHUI. THAT"S DAMN FUNNY, RITE?This is my room and can you please respect what I want instead?
As my best friend said: If my room is not designed/ decorated in the way I like, I won't feel "belonging" to this house. I totally agreed on this. Thus, I will be staying (or tumpang) in the guest room instead.
FYI, my SLK (small little kenari) had been sold. If I am going back JB, I have nothing left except my clothes...I don't like the feeling though I am always away from house, doesn't mean that I wanna lost the feeling of "belonging".
My darling is not with me at this point of time. I am lack of love and touch from him; and now I lost the family care and understanding. What should I do then?
I'll just ignore this and don't feel like argue with them anymore. I just hope that they are happy when they move in. As for myself, I just hope that darling will come to Singapore soon and I can gain back the feeling of "belonging"; at least belonging to his arms...:)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Chanel 2.55 - I am gonna get one for MYSELF!!!!
I am currently in Milan; I went out to DUOMO, the paradise of branded goods.
I walked in to the Chanel boutique and tried on my 2.55 bag. You know what? The feeling is awesome. I really love to have one for myself. I tried to carry it as a sling bag. SO NICE...
Perhaps some people will think that I am materialistic, or as darling said "high maintenance"? In fact, I don't think I am... I'll buy it when I am affordable and not saved till the amount and used up all just to mentally satisfying myself. As Jamie said :"It'll be more satisfying when you are affordable to have one; it's not pampering yourself and torturing then." I find is true, I decided to step back and not buying today (though Euro drops) because:
1. I am getting married and I might need cash
2. I am moving to my new house
3. I am going to purchase it with CASH
Compared to other colleagues, they are having few Chanel and lots of other brands. However, I have less than 5 bags here. Thus, I don't think is too much for me. :p
I'd applied law of attraction and I knew that it will come eventually. And tell you what...It has became a motivation for me to work hard...:) I LOVE FLYING...
I walked in to the Chanel boutique and tried on my 2.55 bag. You know what? The feeling is awesome. I really love to have one for myself. I tried to carry it as a sling bag. SO NICE...
Perhaps some people will think that I am materialistic, or as darling said "high maintenance"? In fact, I don't think I am... I'll buy it when I am affordable and not saved till the amount and used up all just to mentally satisfying myself. As Jamie said :"It'll be more satisfying when you are affordable to have one; it's not pampering yourself and torturing then." I find is true, I decided to step back and not buying today (though Euro drops) because:
1. I am getting married and I might need cash
2. I am moving to my new house
3. I am going to purchase it with CASH
Compared to other colleagues, they are having few Chanel and lots of other brands. However, I have less than 5 bags here. Thus, I don't think is too much for me. :p
I'd applied law of attraction and I knew that it will come eventually. And tell you what...It has became a motivation for me to work hard...:) I LOVE FLYING...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Argumentzzzzzzzz = Tiredness + Sadness
I am moving in to my new house on 10th July... However, the renovation part is really costing me a lot and driving me crazy.. I think I need to pump more $$$ in my new house fund but it will cutting down my saving portion.
I mentioned before that I wanna make my room a cosy one. However, due to budget constraint, I had withdrew a lot of renovation work for my room. Sad to tell that even the room set also I aimed for a cheap and nice one..But, darling kept advising me that the room is temporaly for me and I should put more effort on the house that he bought in KL. He said he will follow whatever way I want...Hurrayyy, then I'll save more and make it an ideal home then.
The dining table that we bought is made in mable with cream color. My dad loves it a lot and my mum commented that "We better buy this as your dad likes it very much. If not, he'll think that there is nothing in the house that he like and he won't have a sense of belonging to the new house." How funny the thinking is...
Few more funny parts:
- No black color sofa is allowed
- No wall paper is allowed
- No mirror in the room
- No mini sofa in MY ROOM as it will block the window and kind of hazard if we need to service our air-cond in the future
However, I am kinda follower now as if I voice out what I want, then there will be an argument following at the back.
Let's hope that the renovation will complete on time and all the things go smooth. I'll try to make it looks cosy and nicer in the future as day goes...
AND NO MORE ARGUMENTS pleaseeeee.. I am tiring to see or involve in argument.
I mentioned before that I wanna make my room a cosy one. However, due to budget constraint, I had withdrew a lot of renovation work for my room. Sad to tell that even the room set also I aimed for a cheap and nice one..But, darling kept advising me that the room is temporaly for me and I should put more effort on the house that he bought in KL. He said he will follow whatever way I want...Hurrayyy, then I'll save more and make it an ideal home then.
The dining table that we bought is made in mable with cream color. My dad loves it a lot and my mum commented that "We better buy this as your dad likes it very much. If not, he'll think that there is nothing in the house that he like and he won't have a sense of belonging to the new house." How funny the thinking is...
Few more funny parts:
- No black color sofa is allowed
- No wall paper is allowed
- No mirror in the room
- No mini sofa in MY ROOM as it will block the window and kind of hazard if we need to service our air-cond in the future
However, I am kinda follower now as if I voice out what I want, then there will be an argument following at the back.
Let's hope that the renovation will complete on time and all the things go smooth. I'll try to make it looks cosy and nicer in the future as day goes...
AND NO MORE ARGUMENTS pleaseeeee.. I am tiring to see or involve in argument.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
What I did in this Feb?
This February, I have completed some tasks and did something different...
1. After I touched down from Moscow, I went to Shenton Lifestyle Clinic for the appointment that I'd made earlier. I went there for chemical peeling to get rid of all the acne. The process is a bit scary and when she applied the chemical liquid on my face, I felt extremely hot on my face, like is going to burn anytime. It took few days to peel and it tended to be quite sensitive. While I was awaiting the peeling process to happen, the feeling was nervous and excited. However, the outcome is not as good as I expected. I went back to see the doctor again and she said that my acne problem before was quite bad and it went deeper. I was ordered to lie on the bed and do spot peeling for the parts that was not fully healed (which the white head is not removed completely).
After few days, after the peeling process, I can still see some scars around my cheek bone area. They are quite obvious and even conceal also can see. I chose to use only loose powder regardless of working or outing. Darling does not allow me to do the chemical peeling again (as suggested by Dr.Ong to clear all the scars and marks) because it might not be good for my skin. Thus, I decided to be GOOD WIFEY and kept on applying the vitamin C serum and hope that the scars and marks will disappear fast. (it takes around 3 months)
2. I met my secondary best mates (min, boon, xin and edward) for Edward's wedding preparation. He was back!!! We even helped him to celebrate his birthday which is a big surprise for him. I met some other school mates as well; Kelvin, Lynda, Kwang Tatt, Siang Tiong, Cher Hui, Wendy, Xiao Pang...
3. During CNY, darling came down to JB and we had all the time together for almost 2 weeks. It's fun and sweet. He did a good job on making my parents lough, helping my parents on house works, take initiative to talk to my parents ... My parents treat him different this time, treats him as their son. When we went back to KL, both parents finally met. We went for dinner in the restaurant which is Fei Ma's favourite. Darling asked me to tolerate and he ensures me that we will take full decision making in our wedding planning. However, my parents didn't really like the dishes there..too bad..
We went back to Rawang to "BAI TIAN GONG". It's my first time to bring darling to my family event. Darling, you earn a lot of Ang Pow hor...:p When it came to the last day in KL, both of us fell sick and we slept very early.
4. Darling and I brought my parents for Karaoke. They enjoyed it very much; while darling was singing, my parents was surprised and they even thought that we on the vocal where the original singer was singing... hahaha
5. Darling and I went to view the condominium along Jalan Ipoh. This is my dream home and I always tell darling that I hope we can stay there. It's cosy and we will go through a green park before we reach the entrance. The security is tight and the environment is good. The price is 700k for an unit. How can I afford to buy one!!!
I feel a bit embarrassed that I broke my promise where I didn't read any book this month...
1. After I touched down from Moscow, I went to Shenton Lifestyle Clinic for the appointment that I'd made earlier. I went there for chemical peeling to get rid of all the acne. The process is a bit scary and when she applied the chemical liquid on my face, I felt extremely hot on my face, like is going to burn anytime. It took few days to peel and it tended to be quite sensitive. While I was awaiting the peeling process to happen, the feeling was nervous and excited. However, the outcome is not as good as I expected. I went back to see the doctor again and she said that my acne problem before was quite bad and it went deeper. I was ordered to lie on the bed and do spot peeling for the parts that was not fully healed (which the white head is not removed completely).
After few days, after the peeling process, I can still see some scars around my cheek bone area. They are quite obvious and even conceal also can see. I chose to use only loose powder regardless of working or outing. Darling does not allow me to do the chemical peeling again (as suggested by Dr.Ong to clear all the scars and marks) because it might not be good for my skin. Thus, I decided to be GOOD WIFEY and kept on applying the vitamin C serum and hope that the scars and marks will disappear fast. (it takes around 3 months)
2. I met my secondary best mates (min, boon, xin and edward) for Edward's wedding preparation. He was back!!! We even helped him to celebrate his birthday which is a big surprise for him. I met some other school mates as well; Kelvin, Lynda, Kwang Tatt, Siang Tiong, Cher Hui, Wendy, Xiao Pang...
3. During CNY, darling came down to JB and we had all the time together for almost 2 weeks. It's fun and sweet. He did a good job on making my parents lough, helping my parents on house works, take initiative to talk to my parents ... My parents treat him different this time, treats him as their son. When we went back to KL, both parents finally met. We went for dinner in the restaurant which is Fei Ma's favourite. Darling asked me to tolerate and he ensures me that we will take full decision making in our wedding planning. However, my parents didn't really like the dishes there..too bad..
We went back to Rawang to "BAI TIAN GONG". It's my first time to bring darling to my family event. Darling, you earn a lot of Ang Pow hor...:p When it came to the last day in KL, both of us fell sick and we slept very early.
4. Darling and I brought my parents for Karaoke. They enjoyed it very much; while darling was singing, my parents was surprised and they even thought that we on the vocal where the original singer was singing... hahaha
5. Darling and I went to view the condominium along Jalan Ipoh. This is my dream home and I always tell darling that I hope we can stay there. It's cosy and we will go through a green park before we reach the entrance. The security is tight and the environment is good. The price is 700k for an unit. How can I afford to buy one!!!
I feel a bit embarrassed that I broke my promise where I didn't read any book this month...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Jan 2010
Time passed so fast, January has just said goodbye..
What have I done in the first month of 2010? Nothing...
I'd just read a story book (my target is 2 a month)..
I met up with Xin, Min and Pang..(at least they knew my latest update)
My face got better (but still a lot of scars, I am gonna do something in Feb)
I am still the same... Throw tantrum, crying over small little issues, sleepless
I cried over many things that happened between us. My tears are specially made for you...
I just hope when we meet up next month, we can have a talk over all the things that I concerned.
But I am not a failure. There are still some improvement from me:
1. I don't really CARE how people talk about my work, as long as I'd given the best
2. I am learning not to give myself pressure when I can't sleep...Learn to avoid seeing the time and calculate the hours slept (I am still doing it but I PROMISE I'll quit this bad habit)
3. I kept telling myself how many flights more to do before meeting him, instead of emphasizing the negative side that WE are not meeting for how long..
4. I know myself better (I can't take anything in when I am angry or sad; I am pessimistic and always find excuses in our argument; I always start a conversation in a negative manner)
But, I really have to do something different in Feb.
I'll be going shopping later (Houston)...Hope this is not a big damage over my wallet.
I wanna think of something different to do during my CNY leaves.
Looking forward to a better February!
What have I done in the first month of 2010? Nothing...
I'd just read a story book (my target is 2 a month)..
I met up with Xin, Min and Pang..(at least they knew my latest update)
My face got better (but still a lot of scars, I am gonna do something in Feb)
I am still the same... Throw tantrum, crying over small little issues, sleepless
I cried over many things that happened between us. My tears are specially made for you...
I just hope when we meet up next month, we can have a talk over all the things that I concerned.
But I am not a failure. There are still some improvement from me:
1. I don't really CARE how people talk about my work, as long as I'd given the best
2. I am learning not to give myself pressure when I can't sleep...Learn to avoid seeing the time and calculate the hours slept (I am still doing it but I PROMISE I'll quit this bad habit)
3. I kept telling myself how many flights more to do before meeting him, instead of emphasizing the negative side that WE are not meeting for how long..
4. I know myself better (I can't take anything in when I am angry or sad; I am pessimistic and always find excuses in our argument; I always start a conversation in a negative manner)
But, I really have to do something different in Feb.
I'll be going shopping later (Houston)...Hope this is not a big damage over my wallet.
I wanna think of something different to do during my CNY leaves.
Looking forward to a better February!
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